My 6 Best Pieces of Advice to Parents Getting Into the Car With Their Teen After Netball
There’s something strangely powerful about the car ride home. It’s one of those rare moments where time slows down, emotions hang in the air, and conversations — or silences — can either build connection or create distance. If your teen has just finished a game of netball (whether they smashed it or dragged their feet through it), how you show up in that car matters.
Drawing on insights from high performance psychologist and human behaviour expert Meg in conversation with Sarah Wall, here are my six best pieces of advice for that post-game car ride:
1. Start With a Check-In, Not a Pep Talk
Before you say anything — check in. When emotions are running high, the thinking part of the brain takes a back seat. Whether your teen just had a shocker or played the game of their life, they’re likely feeling intense emotions, and logic won’t land yet.
Try something like:
“We can talk now, or we can talk later (or grab a milkshake)?”
This gives them agency, shows respect, and avoids unintentionally adding fuel to the fire.
2. Don’t Just Say It — Ask It
Resist the urge to fill the silence with well-meaning commentary. Instead of telling them what you saw or how great they played, start with curiosity.
Simple, open-ended questions can work wonders:
“What felt tough out there?”
“What did you notice about your game today?”
“Anything you were proud of?”
This helps them reconnect with their own experience rather than feeling judged or misunderstood.
3. Celebrate the Positives
Focus on the qualities they showed — not just the stats or results.
“Wow, I saw how you bounced back after that rough quarter — that resilience matters in life too.”
Highlight things like grit, teamwork, problem-solving, determination — because these are the takeaways that will serve them beyond the netball court. When they hear you value who they are (not just how they perform), it builds deep confidence.
4. Shift Their Attention When They’re Stuck
If your teen is spiralling in self-doubt or replaying mistakes, help them shift their focus outward.
“Did you see how your teammate kept encouraging you even when things got hard?”
Sarah Wall shared how her mum did this brilliantly — by pointing out great plays from other players. This gentle redirection can break the cycle of negative self-talk and remind your teen of the bigger picture.
5. Compliment Others to Build Confidence
Sarah reflected that her mum’s habit of complimenting other players actually made her less jealous and more motivated.
“Go train with that girl — she’s awesome!”
This approach teaches your teen that excellence in others isn’t a threat — it’s an opportunity to grow. It builds humility, confidence, and a genuine love of the game.
6. Know That Silence is Okay
Not every ride needs a debrief. Sometimes, what your teen needs most is space, presence, and maybe a snack.
Your quiet companionship can be just as comforting as any advice. Over time, it creates a safe space where they know they can come to you — when they’re ready.
Final Thought:
The car ride home is not about fixing, praising, or solving. It’s about connection. When we meet our teens where they’re at — with empathy, patience, and presence — we not only help them grow as athletes, we help them grow as people.
So next time you turn the key and pull out of the parking lot, remember: it’s not the words you say, it’s how you make them feel.